I wrote this post for three reasons:
- REASON #1: Men (myself included) are notoriously horrible at marriage, and they need all the help they can get.
- REASON #2: Perhaps not very obviously (due to reason #1), a lot more goes into a marriage than getting a few thoughtful gifts for your wife.
- REASON #3: I’m not an expert in the “a lot more,” but being married for 8 years, I’ve done some research and it turns out there are in fact experts in that category.
This page is a listing of all the resources from the aforementioned experts I’ve personally found helpful and recommend for any married man who wants to stay that way.
Please be forewarned, some of these resources might be considered racy. I’ve still included them because it doesn’t take an expert to know that healthy marriages are also racy marriages. If you have a problem with that, you can feel free to stop reading at any point and curl up into a fetal position. No judgement here.
1. The Guide to Getting It On
2. She Comes First
3. Your Brain on Porn
Before you get all up in arms about whatever your position on porn is, let me assure you, this book steers clear of any moral or ethical implications of porn and sticks to the pure science and biology of it. The conclusion is not that you should or shouldn’t look at porn, but rather that you should handle it with care, inside and outside of marriage.
The results that get shown to both of you are ONLY the commonalities between your answers. So if you’re really into something that she isn’t, and vice-versa, those answers don’t get put into the results. However, if you both actually like something that you were too afraid to talk about, it shows up in the results.
5. The Total Money Makeover
Dave Ramsey’s The Total Money Makeover is the seminal work on the basics of money management and worked wonders in my marriage. Finally getting on the same page with my wife about money felt amazing. And I credit it all to this book.
Note: If you want a free, and a little more nuanced view of personal finance, I also recommend reading the reddit.com/r/personalfinance wiki
This is by no means an exhaustive list. I’ll definitely be adding to it as I have time and more recommendations, but sex and money are a great place to start for men in any marriage
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