5 Legitimately Helpful Marriage Resources for Men

I wrote this post for three reasons:

  • REASON #1: Men (myself included) are notoriously horrible at marriage, and they need all the help they can get.
  • REASON #2: Perhaps not very obviously (due to reason #1), a lot more goes into a marriage than getting a few thoughtful gifts for your wife.
  • REASON #3: I’m not an expert in the “a lot more,” but being married for 8 years, I’ve done some research and it turns out there are in fact experts in that category.

This page is a listing of all the resources from the aforementioned experts I’ve personally found helpful and recommend for any married man who wants to stay that way.​

​Please be forewarned, some of these resources might be considered racy. I’ve still included them because it doesn’t take an expert to know that healthy marriages are also racy marriages. If you have a problem with that, you can feel free to stop reading at any point and curl up into a fetal position. No judgement here.

1. The Guide to Getting It On

The Guide to Getting It On
The Guide to Getting it On was recommended to us early in our marriage by a certified sex counselor, and it really helped us out. Unlike most opinion-based books on sex, the author Paul Joannides, bases the entire book on an extensive body of survey research and uses that research to support an unflinching and holistic view of human sexuality that is incredibly refreshing. I highly recommend it.


2. She Comes First

She Comes First
She Comes First: The thinking man’s guide to pleasuring a woman was recommended to me by a couple of Gifts For Angry Wives readers who gave it rave reviews. While I haven’t personally read it yet, it’s probably the most recommended book out there on the subject. And if it’s good enough for GFAW readers, it’s good enough for me.


3. Your Brain on Porn

Your Brain on Porn
Your Brain on Porn is an amazing book. I first read the concepts on their website, yourbrainonporn.com. It’s an amazing look at what porn can do physiologically to your brain.

Before you get all up in arms about whatever your position on porn is, let me assure you, this book steers clear of any moral or ethical implications of porn and sticks to the pure science and biology of it. The conclusion is not that you should or shouldn’t look at porn, but rather that you should handle it with care, inside and outside of marriage.


4. MojoUpgrade.com

MojoUpgrade is a free quiz that helps couples talk about sex in a productive way. The idea is, you take an interactive quiz about your sexual preferences and kinks. Then, your partner takes the same quiz.

The results that get shown to both of you are ONLY the commonalities between your answers. So if you’re really into something that she isn’t, and vice-versa, those answers don’t get put into the results. However, if you both actually like something that you were too afraid to talk about, it shows up in the results.


5. The Total Money Makeover

The Total Money Makeover
Most squabbles in marriages are around money. If you can both get on the same page about it, you’re chances of divorce just dropped by (I don’t really know) but A LOT.

Dave Ramsey’s The Total Money Makeover is the seminal work on the basics of money management and worked wonders in my marriage. Finally getting on the same page with my wife about money felt amazing. And I credit it all to this book.


Note: If you want a free, and a little more nuanced view of personal finance, I also recommend reading the reddit.com/r/personalfinance wiki

This is by no means an exhaustive list. I’ll definitely be adding to it as I have time and more recommendations, but sex and money are a great place to start for men in any marriage

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